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Q&A: Wedding Stationery: Self-Addressed Thank-You Notes?

Q.

A while ago I went to a bridal shower where every guest was handed an envelope to address to themselves. Later the envelopes were drawn from a bag and prizes given out -- but the hosts held on to the envelopes, which were later used for the thank-you notes. I thought this seemed pretty tacky at first, but now that I'm faced with the task of writing my own, it seems pretty sharp! What do you think?

A.

While this is definitely an innovative way to get around a pretty big chore, we're going to have to side with tacky on this one. Why? A thank-you note is meant to show that you, the recipient of a gift, were flattered and honored to receive it. It's simply a gracious, thoughtful gesture (especially these days when handwritten letters -- or even mail that's not a bill or addressed to "Occupant" -- are so few and far between!). Having guests address their own envelopes shows to them that you see the thank-yous as just another item to check off your list -- which it probably does feel like when you're writing two hundred of them. But for the person that receives just that one note, it's a very different feeling -- they're happy you got and liked the gift, and they're generally feeling like you're a good person. Now does that sound so bad? We didn't think so.

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