What is the appropriate way of addressing an envelope to married couples? I have always thought that using, “Mr. & Mrs. John Doe” was correct. Can you address the envelope as, “Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Doe”, or is this tacky? And shouldn't people over 18 get their own invitation even if they're living at home with parents?
You're right that the traditional address wording is “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe”, only using the husband's first name. It's completely appropriate to include the wife's first name as well -- it's not tacky, it's gracious. “John and Jane Doe” reads a bit more smoothly than “Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe”, but it's true that the titles make it more formal. And you're right: Traditionally, a guest 18 or older who still lives at home should get his own invitation.
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