Q.
Against my wishes, my mother bought a white dress to wear to my summer wedding. She is doing a lot to help with planning and I don't want to appear ungrateful, but I wish she wouldn't wear it. Isn't that sort of tacky -- wearing white to a wedding? I don't know what to say to her, and she's quite good at shooting me down. I do understand that this is a big day for her, too.
A.
Well, technically no one but the bride should wear white to a wedding. But the reasoning behind that "rule" is that a woman who wears white to another woman's wedding is trying to upstage her. In your case, it sounds like it's highly unlikely that your mom is doing that. As long as her dress isn't lacy and frilly -- meaning, as long as it doesn't resemble your dress -- it's okay for her to wear it.
Of course, it's okay to make your feelings known, too. You don't have to get into an argument -- just say something like, "Mom, you know how much I appreciate all the help you've given me with wedding planning, and I know my wedding will be a big day for you, too. But I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea of you wearing white." This may or may not change her mind, and she might get defensive, but you have a right to say it. If she tries to draw you into an argument, just refuse -- say, "Look, I just wanted to tell you how I feel, that's all." In the end, don't worry too much about this. Either way, you will be the center of attention on your big day, and your mom will be glowing, too.
See More: Bridal Party Fashion , Family & Parents , Basics for Moms
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expicalado
There are so many beautiful dresses to choose from and I think its selfish for a mother to insist on wearing white to the wedding...white is especially reserved for the bride on that one day...the mother should know better than to buy a white or ivory dress...arent there enough colors in the rainbow to choose from? I would definitely bring this up with my mom if she even considered a white or ivory dress, though I know she never would.
Roz B
You might be able to tackle this problem creatively. As a MOB gift, buy her a beautiful shawl or cardigan, something very thoughtful and very pretty (and any color but white!). Then, brightly gush "Oh wow, mom, that looks soooooo good on you! You should totally wear that for the wedding!" This way she's not wearing all white, and you haven't hurt feelings our casued tension. When in doubt, kill them with kindness lol...
genie1285
my stepmom just announced she wants wear white, I'm not too excited about the idea.. especially since we're no close. I still have a while until the wedding, so I'm hoping this will change..
shakes
um....imo it's entirely up to you and your mom and whatever works best for you both is the right answer, but since your asking....HONESTLY...as bitchy as it might sound a few ladies I know including myself might have some colourful comments about the MOB wearing white....gold, champagne etc.. is workable...but white....nope. Not cool, unless it's cool with you.
nikki.kronbeck
I love my mom dearly, but she has chosen a dress in cream to wear. Its absolutely beautiful on her, head to toe in beaded lace (very formal). I have brought up to her my concerns with the color but she has completely disregarded my feelings and is going to wear it anyways. I dont think it would be such a problem, but she insists on walking me down the aisle along with my father. So I am in the same boat as you are. The style of her dress is different than mine, however her dress has more detail on it than my wedding dress does. I have given up on trying to get her to get a different dress or even wear a jacket with it to break up the color a bit, but I am worried about what people will say the day of our wedding. Is it something I should worry about or just let it go?