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He Gave Me a Promise Ring -- Does That Mean We're Pre-Engaged?

Q.

A few months ago, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring as a token of our commitment. Lately we've been discussing the ideal month to get married in, and I'm certain he's going to propose soon. I don't want to miss out on having my wedding on the date I've always dreamed of, so is it okay to send out save-the-dates even though we're not officially engaged yet?

A.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend gives you a promise ring, it's probably a sign they're ready for more commitment, but not quite there yet in terms of getting married. That's okay, you should be able to take your relationship at a speed that's comfortable for both of you, but be prepared for friends, family and even strangers to ask questions like "When's the wedding?"

It's great that you're talking and thinking about your future together, but until you can both say with confidence "I'm engaged," it's best to hold off on firming up your wedding plans. That doesn't mean you're not engaged if you don't get a bended knee proposal or even have a ring (it's cool if you're planning on getting matching tattoos or are planning to save for a ring down the road).

Being engaged is a promise that you're going to marry that person. If you're somewhere in a gray area (you talk about getting married all the time and even settled on how many kids you'll have, but haven't said out loud that you're definitely making the commitment), then it's best to have an honest conversation with your fiance about your concerns. Maybe they're just waiting for the perfect moment to make the proposal special, but you also don't want your significant other to feel pressured if they're not quite ready.