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Wedding Ceremony: How to Honor Deceased Relative at Wedding?

Q.

I am getting married October 3. This date also happens to be my aunt's birthday -- she died a year ago. I had already picked this date for my wedding, and my family agreed it would be okay to keep the wedding date. I would like some advice about remembering my aunt on this day. Should I have a song played for her? Should I not say anything at all, so as not to upset anyone? Even though it is my wedding day, I would still like to remember my aunt.

A.

If remembering your aunt on her birthday is important to you, you should do it -- it sounds like you might be more upset if you didn't do anything to honor her. You don't have to explain to everyone present what happened to her -- this is an aunt who's passed away, and it's her birthday, and you'd like to memorialize her at your wedding. You can have a song played, you can light a candle, you can even take your bouquet to place on her grave after the wedding if you'd rather honor her privately. Just think about what would make you feel good as a remembrance of your aunt, then run it by your family.

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