Q.
My fiance and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon. My fiance's father has offered many times to help with expenses (his parents are much more well-off than mine). Well, my parents have announced they will pay for the entire wedding, which is wonderfully generous. We decided to ask his parents to pay for the honeymoon, since traditionally that is the groom's parents' domain. When we showed them Hawaii brochures, they said they weren't going to send us there. We were floored; this was basically a sure thing. Now what do we do?
A.
Hmm. Did they give you a reason why Hawaii is out? Maybe they feel you two are trying to take advantage of them by choosing a super-expensive honeymoon? Maybe they sensed you thought it was a "sure thing" and were offended by that? I think the first step is to find out why they are so against a Hawaiian honeymoon. Perhaps your fiance should sit down with them and see what they have to say -- it might be easier to get issues into the open if it's just him and them. You're right that it seems appropriate for them to contribute something to the wedding -- especially since your fiance's dad said in the past that he was willing to -- but the truth is that no parent is obligated to pay for anything, and there's no way you can force them to send you to Hawaii. Perhaps once your fiance talks to them and finds out what the problem is, everything will work out. If not, maybe they would be willing to contribute a certain amount to your honeymoon fund, and you two can pay the difference. You'll probably get some money as wedding gifts -- earmark it as honeymoon money with which to "reimburse" yourselves when you return.
See More: Money , Wedding Planning Basics
share your advice on this topic
Write your own tips and ideas to share with other Knotties.
speakfromwithin
How the heck is it selfish, valentine? Parents aren't obligated to pay for anything wedding related. In fact, I think it was rather selfish for the bride and groom to assume that this was a "sure thing". What a snotty attitude to have!
Bisey_rats
Since when was it's the groom's family's job to pay for the honeymoon? The old fashioned books I read said that it's the groom alone's job and the newer ones say that the couple pays for it themselves.