Q.
I'm working out a budget for my wedding, and my parents are deceased. Would it be correct etiquette to ask my siblings, who are all 10 or more years older than I am, to help pay for the expenses that are usually paid for by the bride's parents?
A.
Asking your siblings to help pay for your wedding really depends on your relationship with them. It's not appropriate to expect them to stand in financially for your parents. But if they've been like parents to you, some may be willing -- or may even offer -- to help you out. Broach the subject by talking in person to the sibling or siblings you're closest to, in order to find out if they are willing or able to help. While you certainly shouldn't expect their financial assistance, you can expect their good wishes and emotional support.
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angiek7
I lost my Dad when I was in high school & my Mom never remarried, so I won't be receiving financial help from parents for my wedding, but I would not ask my siblings for financial help. I understand that not having two parents to help subsidize the cost may make it tempting to go elsewhere, but I think couples should really try and budget what they can afford. You would not want all your family to know that X brother or Y sister had to help you out, etc. I have a brother that borrowed a $1K when he was getting married from our older brother, and to this day my sis-in-law (older bro's wife) makes comments about the younger bro & the older bro acts like he owes him. It could be a really uncomfortable situation after the event is over. I would borrow money from a bank or something first!
kalena224
I agree that it completely depends on the relationship you have with your siblings. I too have siblings that are much older. Due to the current economy, my parents aren't really in a position to assist, so my older brother has stepped up and offered to help. Of course, I didn't *ask* - we just talked about current circumstances and my concerns, and he mentioned that he'd be there to help. I also have a sister that does event planning on the side that would love nothing more than to coordinate everything for me. We're family after all, and we've always been supportive of each other...they just happen to be around 6 and 10 years ahead of me and more financially stable.
yakwithlou
Why would your siblings want to pay for any of your wedding? Do they not have families of their own? People should only do what they can afford and that will make it enjoyable for all!
cherry_Blossum
This can be such a touchy subject. I would allow them the opportunity to offer to pay or help pay, but never ask for financial assistance. I even think it is wrong to expect parents to pay for weddings. When a couple decides to get married, they should be prepared to pay for all expenses themselves.
eclaire429
I would have to say no. If you and your future spouse want a wedding, you should figure out a way to pay for it. Did you help pay for your siblings weddings? Yes they are older, but that shouldn't change anything. I would ask them for help with planning things...not paying for things.