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Bridal Shower: Bridal Shower Size Debate?

Q.

I come from a very small family, but my fiance's is quite large -- and all events are done to the max! My sister (my maid of honor) is going back and forth with my fiance's two sisters (who are also in the bridal party) and his mother about the size of the wedding shower, who should be invited, and where it should be held. I have made it clear that I don't want a large bridal shower, and I don't want it held in a hall (too impersonal). Also, I don't feel that people I don't know should be invited. His sisters are still insisting on inviting all aunts, cousins, and close family friends. I've never met more than half of these people, or at most, I've met them once. My sister says she'll handle it, but I feel like I am already involved and need to help the situation. Is there anything I should do?

A.

You should listen to your sister! You've given your opinion, and now it's up to you to let these women take care of the planning. You have every right to not want a big shower with guests you don't know, but understand that even if you don't know all these people, your fiance does, and they want to get to know you. Since you're marrying into your honey's family, you've got to get used to the way they celebrate, and there's no time like the present! If you really want an intimate shower with your closest girlfriends and female relatives, perhaps you could have two showers -- your sister could plan a smaller one more to your specifications, leaving this larger party to your fiance's sisters (it sounds like they've got a pretty good handle on this already). If that solution sounds good to you, talk to your sis about it. If you do go with just one shower, be gracious even if it's not exactly what you wanted. Focus your energies on the wedding and roll with the shower. If anything, it'll be a good opportunity for you to meet some of your fiance's relatives and family friends before the wedding -- then you'll know more people on the big day. That can't be a bad thing!

See More: Rehearsals + Brunches , Bridal Showers , The Bridal Shower