Q.
My parents have been pressuring me to talk to my fiance about signing a prenuptial agreement. They're planning on passing a sizeable inheritance on to me, and want to be sure I'm protecting my assets. As much as I don't want to think about that kind of worst-case scenario right now, I know they're right. How do I bring it up with him?
A.
The good news is that prenuptial agreements don't have the stigma that they once did and aren't just used by rich dudes protecting themselves against potential gold diggers. Couples today are getting married later in life and are much more likely to have accrued significant assets by the time they wed. The other side of the coin, of course, is that marriages nowadays are more likely to end in divorce, so to-be-weds are more interested in protecting themselves through pre-nups. You need to start by being frank: admit that while bringing up the idea that you could get a divorce or die defies the traditional image of the starry-eyed bride, you are bringing it up for a specific reason and (believe it or not) there are some definite perks to the process.
First, remind him that prenuptial agreements actually allow you as a couple to decide what will happen to your cash -- no matter who's earning it -- rather than leaving those decisions up to a judge. Then point out that drawing up a pre-nup forces couples to face their finances and start planning for the future -- something most newlyweds don't start to think about for years. You will both have to fully disclose your assets and sources of income (whether it's from your job or business or from a monetary gift like an inheritance). Once you've got that out in the open and on paper, you (and your lawyers) will decide together how it will be divvied up -- not only who will get the money, but, if you like, how it will be invested or otherwise spent. While it might not be the most cheerful part of your wedding planning, it will have you breathing a lot easier in the long run.
See More: Money , Wedding Planning Basics
share your advice on this topic
Write your own tips and ideas to share with other Knotties.
lynlovesjoe
I still don't see the point of it if we own a business together. It's not like one of us has money and the other one doesn't. We share are money and have been doing so for years. He uses my credit cards already, it's no big deal. Even if we did get a divorce, we both aren't scumbags. The thing I'd be worry about is the pets and later on the kids.
Crzy4Max
A spouse's inheritance is considered separate property and would not be divided in a divorce proceeding. However, if you began to co-mingle the inheritance in with the combined family money or it contributes to other community property (towards the dept on your home, for example), then that money would be up for division.
girlygirl0725
What about couples like mt FH & I who have "nothing" as of right now. Do you think it is a waste of time in our case? We're both working on degrees (mine in education his in broadcasting) and we do not own a home or have significant sums of $$. Most family and friends we've asked said this isn't something for us.
SweetLottie
While Prenuptial Agreements are a good idea, they usually don't hold up 100% in court when actually challenged. Its extremely tricky to say exactly what you want without someone challenging it later on in the future. Be sure that your Lawyer understands specifically what you want.