Q&A: Groomsmen: Not Sure I Want to Be a Best Man?

Q.

I am getting married in August, and someone I know is getting married in July. He asked me to be his best man, but I have my own wedding to plan! How do I decline without hurting any feelings?

A.

The best policy is always honesty. Talk to your friend and let him know you're concerned that you won't be able to focus on his wedding as much as he might want you to. Find out how much time and effort he actually expects you to contribute; you might find out that it's completely do-able. But if not, perhaps you can be a groomsman instead of best man. If that still seems too much, just let him know you don't want to let him down by not pulling your weight as part of the wedding party, but you'll be there supporting him as a guest. He should understand; after all, he's dealing with planning stress right now, too.

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expicalado
I dont think the best man needs to do as much as the Maid of honor, so maybe your duties wont be too time consuming. What duties are you afraid you wont have time for? Being his best man should really be an honor and I dont think you will need to contribute more time than you have. Ask him what his expectations are, maybe he just means that he wants you to plan a Bachelor party and then sign the wedding certificate and thats it? You can find time for that right?