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Groomsmen: How Do I Decline Being the Best Man?

Q.

I am getting married in August, and someone I know is getting married in July. He asked me to be his best man, but I have my own wedding to plan! How do I decline without hurting any feelings?

A.

The best policy is always honesty. Talk to your friend and let him know you're concerned that you won't be able to focus on his wedding as much as he might want you to. Find out how much time and effort he actually expects you to contribute; you might find out that it's completely do-able. But if not, perhaps you can be a groomsman instead of best man. If that still seems too much, just let him know you don't want to let him down by not pulling your weight as part of the wedding party, but you'll be there supporting him as a guest. He should understand; after all, he's dealing with planning stress right now, too.

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