Forget the archaic rule that says certain people have to pay for certain things. The bride's parents need not take out a third mortgage to pay for the wedding, and the groom's parents are not off the hook either. Besides, the two of you might even be covering a good chunk of the expenses yourselves. The best way to work it out? Sit down with pencil, paper, and calculator and figure out what you really want and can afford. Keep in mind that informal weddings are usually smaller (and therefore cheaper), and formal weddings tend to be larger (and therefore more expensive).
Here's a list of the traditional costs for everyone involved -- but remember, these "rules" are made to be broken!
Ceremony
- Bride and family pay for church or synagogue, sexton, organist, etc.
- Groom and family pay for marriage license and officiant's fee.
Clothes
- Bride and family pay for bride's dress, veil, accessories, and trousseau (read: lingerie and honeymoon clothes).
- Groom and family pay for groom's outfit.
- All attendants pay for their own clothing (including shoes).
Flowers
- Bride and family pay for arrangements for church (including huppah if a Jewish wedding ceremony) and reception, plus bouquets and corsages for bridesmaids and flower girls.
- Groom and family pay for bride's bouquet and going-away corsage, boutonnieres for men, and corsages for mothers and grandmothers.
Honeymoon
- Groom and family pay for complete honeymoon.
Photography
- Bride and family pay for all wedding photos and video.
Prewedding Parties
- Bride or groom's family plans and hosts engagement party; if there is more than one, bride's family hosts the first one.
- Groom's family plans and hosts the rehearsal dinner.
- Bride plans and hosts bridesmaids' luncheon.
- Groom hosts and plans bachelors' dinner.
- Maid of honor and bridesmaids host shower.
- Best man and ushers host bachelor party.
- Friends may throw additional engagement parties or showers.
Reception
- Bride and family pay for all professional services, including food, drink, decorations, and music.
Rings
- Bride and/or her family pay for groom's ring.
- Groom and/or his family pay for both of the bride's rings.
Stationery
- Bride and family pay for invitations, announcements, and wedding programs.
Transportation
-- The Knot
See More: Basics for Moms , Basics for Moms , Wedding Planning Basics , Family & Parents , Just Engaged?
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katiebenes
My fiance and I are paying our own way too. and it has now hit exactly 11 months left and last night it hit me- We are going to start in debt.
wiggles15
A dream wedding would be nice but at the same time you can do that for a little amount. We are only inviting people that we are close to like aunts and uncles and cousins. We aren't do all those great aunt or uncles that I haven't seen in probably 20 years. I don't see the point and why waste money when they probably wouldn't come in the first place. We have noticed that we will be saving money by having the ceremony and the reception all at the same place because then we won't have to worry about transportation costs. There are all those little things that aren't really needed and I found that out when I started to plan. My dream wedding is having my family there and that's all that matters to me. Well and alcohol and music :)
jorica2010
I totally agree. My family, including the two of us getting married, are saving a ton of money by having everything at my parents' horse farm. Granted we're blessed to have so much room to host a relatively small wedding, but I think that's what is saving us the most money. We don't have to lay down over $1000 for just a place. So it's worth doing research around the people you know and see if you can have a big ole party at their place
Future Mrs. Andreas Coleman
lissdarc, I am so glad someone else is having a long engagement to pay off their wedding themselves too. My family and friends don't get why we are having such a long engagement either and when I explain that I want my dream wedding and that costs money they're like but thats so far away! then I say well your welcome to contribute to the budget and they usually shut up lol
Future Mrs. Andreas Coleman
lissdarc, I am so glad someone else is having a long engagement to pay off their wedding themselves too. My family and freiends don't get why we are having such a long engagement either and when I explain that I want my dream wedding and that costs money they're like but thats so far away! then I say well your welcome to contribute to the budget and they usually shut up lol