Q.
My future mother-in-law has no idea how to dress. We went shopping, and she bought a white cotton dress to wear to my wedding! I didn't have the heart to tell her at the time that she shouldn't wear that dress. My mother is wearing a very classy midnight blue evening gown. How do I politely tell my future mother-in-law that her dress is not appropriate for the wedding?
A.
Well, the best scenario would have been for you to explain in the store that she and your mom should be similarly dressed. And you also might have mentioned that according to tradition, only the bride should wear white. But it's too late for all that. Depending on your relationship with her, maybe you can sit down with her and explain now. Let her know that generally the two moms' dresses are equally formal, so really she should wear a more formal dress to the ceremony -- and that you'll help her pick it out. Suggest that she wear the white dress instead to the rehearsal dinner or the postwedding brunch, if there will be one. Chances are she'll agree. If you're uncomfortable with that, ask your fiance to talk to her; better yet, if he has a sister, let her sort it out with her mom. If your fiance's mom reacts defensively and says that she's wearing the white dress, you may just have to grin and bear it. Don't obsess over it, though. It's not worth starting off your new relationship with her on the wrong foot.
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Festiva
I have a mother-dress issue...but it's my own mother, not my FMIL. My mom is inappropriate to say the least, and worse...and she buys her clothing 2 sizes too small. It's so embarrassing that my siblings have stopped inviting her to social events. To alleviate the headache before it can happen, my fiance and I are buying her a dress and giving it as a gift. This is the ONLY way we can be assured she'll will not show up in a white mini sequence number with 6inch stilettos and no bra. =)
cello10star
No, apparel isn't that important, but if you're spending thousands of dollars on a wedding (which I imagine just about anyone on theknot.com is) you at least want some nice pictures out of the deal! And that means decently dressed wedding party members, moms included.
Future Mrs. Lindstrom
I ahd people ask me post wedding if my mother in law was pulling the " look at me" act scine she wore a mauve dress when my mom was in green which was one of the wedding color. She wasn't trying to do that. At the time she went dress shopping the writers were on stricke so dad wasn't working much and she got it on clearance with a gift card. My ladies had pink flowers so it wasn't too bad. Besides...hubby's aunt tried to pre-empt me for attention before I even got to the chapel by having "woe-i-me" fits becuase we son; who was a groomsmen; was being deployed to Iraq again....in October...and this was March.
lynlovesjoe
lesabear- my fiance suggested that you sew a bra into her dress and pretend it came with it. haha A good idea is making her wear a dress that has plenty of material to cover her nipples, and a sash or whatever right under her bust to help support her boobage. A tight dress will definately hold everything in place, but if she refuses to get a dress like that, try to get her to buy a dress with a corset tie back so that you can get her to lift her boobs as high as possible, and then tie it tighter than she would have planned. I know I have worn formal wear that you practically can't wear a bra with. If she has small breasts, then she shouldn't be spilling out or anything.
LesaBear
I have a similar problem, but my future mother in law also refuses to wear bras. I frankly don't care what she wears, but I do want the picutres to look nice. My fiance has already refused to help with the situation. Any suggestions?