Q.
My stepdaughter is getting married. Her mother and I were divorced a couple of years ago after 15 years of marriage, during the child-raising years of my former wife's children. My ex-wife sent the invitation addressed only to me and not to the woman who I have subsequently married. I would very much like to attend the wedding to show that I care very much about my stepdaughter, but her mother, who sent the invitation with no reference to my wife, has obviously done so as an insult of some sort. What is the proper etiquette for such an invitation? Should my wife accompany me, should I attend by myself, or should neither of us attend?
A.
Sounds like there's a little bad blood here. What you should do is talk to your stepdaughter. Let her know that you were disappointed that the invitation didn't include your wife, and see what she says. Maybe she's the one who's concerned about putting her mom and your wife in the same room on her wedding day. Maybe there's more going on there than you think. See what happens. Maybe it will turn out that you will be able to bring your wife as a guest.
Or maybe not. It certainly could be a snub of some kind from your ex-wife. But if no invitation is forthcoming, you have a personal decision to make. You shouldn't just show up with your wife. That's pretty rude -- it's as rude as the original snub, making it seem as though you're trying to one-up each other. You could attend on your own to support your stepdaughter. That's the "big" thing to do. Or you could refuse to go, on principle. This may really hurt your stepdaughter, or maybe she would understand. This one's up to you.
See More: Divorce & Step Family , Basics for Moms
share your advice on this topic
Write your own tips and ideas to share with other Knotties.
lynlovesjoe
I was snubbed on an invitation recently. My fiance went and I went to a party instead. We both had a good time. The people who left me off the invite are not invited to our wedding as a slap back from me. Since I invited them both to my engagement party and they decided that they didn't feel like going after already rsvping. They already slapped me twice, never again! The guy's uncle is invited to our wedding though, and if he asks, I will not hesitate to tell him why.
abk21
Definitely talk to the bride about this. This is her day. If you still aren't sure, I suggest just going by yourself.