What type of mom are you? Hands on? hands off? If you're unsure, it will become very obvious the minute the wedding planning begins. Take our handy quiz to help you determine the "mom-involvement" quotient and the best ways to deal.
1. Your daughter tells you she is getting married. You:
a) Congratulate her and propose a toast to the to-be-weds.
b) Make a beeline for the phone before your daughter has even finished making the announcement to book your favorite caterer on a day good for her next spring.
c) Celebrate the happy news and say you'll see her at the chapel.
2. Your daughter is shopping for a wedding gown. You:
a) Offer to browse the catalogs with her to see if she'd like a second opinion.
b) Tell her not to worry, you've already scheduled appointments with the top five salons in your area.
c) Say you think you've heard Filene's Basement has a once-a-year wedding gown sale. Maybe she should check it out.
3. Your daughter decides to get married barefoot on the beaches of Maui. You:
a) Ask if she needs help bargain hunting for airfares to Hawaii.
b) Vomit, faint, awake, then disown her.
c) Are psyched you can go to her wedding and work on your tan.
4. Your daughter decides to go with a nontraditional wedding invitation. You:
a) Like the idea because it's less stodgy than the average invite, and promise to give your honest opinion on your final three picks.
b) Inform her that Crane's won't refund her $1,000 deposit, so the touchy-feely creative thing is simply out of the question.
c) Say "Whatever," as long as you can read the numbers so you can show up at the right place at the right time.
5. Your daughter books the honeymoon suite on the Orient Express. You:
a) Tell her not to order champagne on honeymoon night -- it'll be waiting for her in your cabin, compliments of you.
b) Insist that the honeymoon suite just isn't big enough for all three of you, plus you always suffer from motion sickness on trains.
c) Ask her to send a postcard from the cities on each end of their journey.
If you picked "a" for three or more questions, you are:
Easygoing. Your daughter's lucky because she's been dealt a fair hand in the family department. You generally offer assistance, but rarely force the issue. You're there for her, but not in her face. Maybe you're more proactive in certain areas, i.e., you really have a thing for yellow roses and think your daughter should, too. But basically, you realize this is her wedding, not yours, and you just want to give her as much support as she needs.
If you picked "b" for three or more questions, you are:
A Control Freak. Maybe your mom controlled your wedding. Or maybe you think you tied the knot so picture-perfectly, who wouldn't want to exploit your wedding genius? Whatever the reason, you definitely need to rein it in a bit (maybe a lot). Try to understand whose wedding this is, and take a few steps back. You have a lot of creative fuel to burn, so ask your daughter what specific tasks you could do that would help her the most. You aim to please, but it's up to your daughter to direct your efforts. Be careful to offer your time and energy in a way that doesn't make your daughter feel like you want to take over.
If you picked "c" for three or more questions, you are:
The Laissez Faire Type. You trust your daughter and know she'll do things right, so why should you interfere? If she wants your interference, she'll ask for your help. Perhaps you weren't keeping your distance so much as giving her space. Once asked, you'll probably jump into the thick of things with passion and vigor. If not, maybe weddings just aren't your thing, for reasons known or unknown. You may need some time to warm up to your role as mother of the bride, but be aware that your daughter might feel some rejection.
Basics for Moms