The bridesmaid is an integral part of any wedding, on hand to comfort, console, multitask, and party hearty at all bridal events. Whether it's your first bridesmaid gig or your 50th, here's a cheat sheet of your to-dos.
- Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, "Would you like me to help you shop for bridesmaid dresses/stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?" instead of just, "What can I do?"
- Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other wedding accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes before the wedding day -- that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.)
- Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.
- If the maid/matron of honor isn't already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and bridal showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes); maintain RSVP lists.
- Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of all prewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.)
- Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the ceremony officiant, or satisfy junk food cravings.
- Stand in the receiving line at the bride's request.
- Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book.
- Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner.
- Give the matron/maid of honor a break by helping to carry the bride's wedding gown train whenever necessary. Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked. Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked.
- Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to wedding gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift.
- Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress -- even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful.
- Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day.
-- The Knot
See More: Your Bridal Party , Basics for Bridesmaids
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AliandDan2010
Honestly, I don't know where exactly some of you b2b's live but 45 isn't necessarily unreasonable, especially if you live in a city area.... I live in Vermont, if there was a shoe store on this mountain I doubt the shoes would cost much, but in New Jersey, where I'm getting married I guarantee it's going to cost a bit more. Over 45 is pushing it though and I think it's difficult to ask your girls to dye their shoes... do they even make those anymore? Go online and scout a navy shoe if that is really what you want... your the bride and you're right it's your wedding... BUT silver sounds really great... so check that option out too. Don't be scared to spice it up... uniformity is boring enough as it is. As for the E-mails... I have the same exact problem... I sent an email a few weeks ago just saying hey ladies, whats going on? I'm not feeling the love... and then they wrote me back. Also, I know as a b2b we feel like ppl should be more enthused but they have lives of their own and they're wrapped up in wedding planning... the way we are... so it's easy to get sensitive about how much they are contributing. Hope that helps!
kikicurlytop
I think that $45 my be a but much for some girls, but maybe not for others. What I did was basically what someone else said, I picked their dresses (which were only $80) and told them they had to have a certain color shoe (I went with silver because of my wedding colors) but they could pick whatever ones the wanted, as long as it has a heel. I know one of my bridesmaids (who is kind of well off) is using it as an excuse to buy a new pair of jimmy choo's and another, who works minimum wage, is buying hers at payless. I don't care, as long as they are silver, and have a heel, whether it is 1/2 an inch or 6 inches. Plus, something to keep in mind is that everybody's feet are different, and you want them to be comfortable on the big day. By letting them pick their own shoes, it will help to make this happen.
jenj81
I don't know how long ago the last question was posted but I just wanted to say that I do think $45 dollars is a bit much for shoes when the bridesmaids are also paying for their dress, your bachelorette party, your wedding gifts, possibly their hair and makeup...it adds up, and it gets expensive. Considering most brides and their attendants are in their 20's, I'm also assuming that your girls don't have high paying jobs, so they have good reason for being upset about the price of the shoes. If you can afford it, you could offer to buy the shoes for them, otherwise, just tell them that you're not budging on the color but they can shop around for their own dress shoes and trust that they will do so in time for the wedding.
fredergr
I let the girls pick out the dresses. They all liked the style and the price. I really don't think I've been a bridezilla. I TRIED to let the girls pick out the shoes and no one made any effort to get back to me about picking out their own shoes. I don't think that they are my servants. My issue is that I've been very open to letting them pick things out, but there has been a lack of effort on their end. That's why I ended up picking out the shoe style. I think it's a little pushy on their part to tell me they want silver shoes after I expressed that I don't like them. I'm not a bridezilla for making them dye their shoes. I was in a wedding where the bride said do whatever with the shoes as long as something is on your feet and it looked awful in all the pictures. It's pretty standard to dye shoes to match a dress. I'm just venting and in reality my question is about whether the cost is reasonable.
kaitiana
If your bridesmaids are adamant on NOT wanting a certain thing - style of dress, color of shoe, hair style, etc - I think the bride should consider their feelings and come to a compromise. My bridesmaids and I went dress shopping, and I let them pick out the style of dress (they all chose the same one) and they picked out the shade of pink that they wanted to wear. I've been the bridesmaid who hated what I wore, and til this day, I regret not telling the bride that we (all) didn't like our dress and shoes! Just a little advice - ease up on being a bridezilla and have fun with your friends as they are there to help you and support you on your special day - they aren't your servants.