Q.
My fiance claims the groom doesn't have to attend the shower. I disagree (and so does my mom). I thought the idea was that guests were showering us with gifts, so we should both be there to open them. Can you clarify?
A.
Usually grooms don't attend showers -- can you imagine what it would be like if you had to attend the bachelor party? Traditionally, a "bridal" shower is for the bride and her close female relatives and friends (and often female relatives on the groom's side, too). That said, you're absolutely right that those gifts are for both of you! While many women still love the "girls only" aspect of the shower (tea, pink stuff, lace, girl talk), it's no longer true that the wife runs the home while her husband brings home the bacon.
You may be a perfect candidate for a couple shower -- a party for both of you with a co-ed guest list! Couple showers are becoming more and more popular among today's equality-minded couples. If you want a traditional bridal shower but would like the groom to show up though, nothing says he can't. Another option is to have your guy just make an appearance at gift-time to thank all the gals himself. Just be sure your sweetie's comfortable with his cameo!
See More: Rehearsals + Brunches , Bridal Showers , The Bridal Shower
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jolynn326
Many showers that I have attended are girls only, but the guy shows up to meet everyone and help open the gifts. So all the chit chat, games, etc., are girls only, but they both get to open the gifts.
strawberrykn
My fiance was the one responsible to get me there (it was a surprise). He greeted guests and then left. He came back later to pick me up...that's all.
krayzmelmel
When I had my bridal shower a couple of weeks ago, my fiance showed up for about 10 minutes with some flowers for me. my aunties who gave it told him to do that, because it gave all the ladies a chance to meet him. I'm having another bridal shower in a couple of weeks, and I think he's going to do the same thing.
youngin12
We are having two showers. The bridal shower that I will attend, however, he will show up for the last 15-30 minutes to make an appearance and load my truck afterwards with all the gifts. We are also having a gift card shower a month after the bridal shower for both of us and we will than invite guys and girls to that event. The bridal shower is more of the older people from my parents church and the woman of the family and bridesmaids and the gift card shower is all of our younger friends, co-workers and extended family.
phut_action
If you're having a more traditional women-only shower, I don't think its right to make your Fiancee attend. Its a nice gesture for him to show up briefly (I'd say toward the end), thank everyone, then be on his way. No guy wants to sit around with all the girl-talk, it'll just make him uncomfortable. Coed showers are cool though, they're usually a little more exciting and fun (I'm not huge into the girly showers myself).