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Bridal Shower: Invite Everyone on the Bridal Shower Guest List?

Q.

As the maid of honor for a close friend, I am expecting to give her a wedding shower. I asked her for a list of invitees, expecting 20-30 people, and yesterday she handed me a wedding shower guest list of 60 people! She said her future mother-in-law suggested she would get more gifts from the wedding registry this way. Do I have to invite all these people? The other bridesmaids and I don't have unlimited funds. Can I call the mother-in-law and tell her it's too much for us to handle? Shouldn't she consider hosting a bridal shower of her own to accommodate the friends and relatives we can't?

A.

Sounds like a classic case of greedy-bride syndrome. You are certainly not required to invite all 60 people on her list. First of all, keep in mind that throwing your friend a shower is a very nice, very generous -- and not mandatory! -- gesture on your part, and since you are hosting this event, you get to decide on the size of the guest list. It is rude (not to mention tacky) that the bride and her future mother-in-law want to use this event as a way for the bride to "get more gifts." They seem to be overlooking the fact that planning a 60-person shower requires a great deal of time, effort, and money (particularly since it is not proper to ask guests to contribute to the costs of the event). Though it might be tough, you need to put your foot down.

See More: Rehearsals + Brunches , Bridal Showers , The Bridal Shower