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Bridal Shower: Okay to Have Bridal Shower for Intimate Wedding?

Q.

My fiance and I decided to have a very intimate wedding. We are inviting only 20 guests to the wedding ceremony and to a family meal at my parent's home afterward. Am I still entitled to a wedding shower?

A.

Generally, we say that those who are invited to a wedding shower should also be invited to the wedding. This rule of etiquette comes from the notion that asking someone to a shower (i.e., asking them for a gift) and not inviting them to celebrate the big event is rude. But since you are having such a tiny wedding, the rules change a bit. In this case your shower will serve as a way to celebrate your upcoming marriage with those you cannot invite to your wedding. Guests should not be offended when they realize that your wedding ceremony and reception will consist of only 20 people -- so do make sure that they are aware of this! If, however, you are having a large celebration and your shower guests are left out, they would most certainly be offended. So yes, you are entitled to a wedding shower. Word the invitations as you would to any normal shower, then be sure to send thank-you notes for gifts -- as well as announcements after your wedding to all who attended the shower.

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