Professional Shave
I'm gonna ease you into this whole grooming thing with one of the only acceptable (and, might I add, enjoyable) "treatments" for a man to get on a regular basis: a straight-edge shave from an old-school barber. Classic, manly, effective -- this is what Don Draper would do on all mornings he gets married. Bonus: It's good for the nerves. By comparison, saying "I do" in front of 250 people is far less scary than letting a complete stranger put a blade to your throat.